The View From Up Here

I am 21 weeks as of December 8. As my body increases exponentially in size, I thought it would be nice for you to see what life looks like from my point of view, from above and behind THE STOMACH (insert horror movie music here). So, I took a picture:

Now, I started growing out of my own clothes rather quickly and could only wear maternity pants by about 9 weeks, so I knew this would get bad and get bad it most certainly did. Picture it. Sunday night. I am 16 weeks pregnant. All 3 pairs of my maternity pants are dirty (to the point where I couldn’t just pull them out for a day) so I start trying on dresses that I have been able to put leggings under and pull off. Well, my stomach isn’t the only thing that has grown. My upper-body is now the size of a person who eats cheeseburgers twice a day so the dresses no longer fit. Eric suggests I wear a pair of his pants just for a day.I am pretty disheartened thinking that his pants will fit but figure, whatever, it’s one day and I stopped actually caring what I looked like long ago (like way before I got pregnant). I grab a pair of Eric’s pants and put them on. As I begin to button them I just start yelling. They don’t even come close to fitting. I am literally a huge huge cow who cannot even fit into her husband’s pants.

I wish I could say that was the only time the sheer monstrosity that is my body has reared it’s ugly head.  Alas, it is not. Not a couple weeks ago I decided to wear some zip boots. I put them on only to discover that those parts of my legs that used to be considered calves would no longer allow the boot to zip around them.Thanks a lot a-holes.

*Bonus points to anyone who caught the Golden Girls-inspired storytelling there.

Here are a few more views of THE STOMACH.